To Murphy

How are you Murphy? I am so miss you, Old days memory was pop up in my mind. We had our evening jog, play ball, hide and seek. It’s so fun to have you accompany these 4 years. Thanks you!

Last September you was paralyze out of sudden. I keep positive on trying my best to let you stand up again. Until 13Jan 2017, you vomit after dinner stomach was growing big as a ball with full of gas. 16 Jan Cried whole night long and bark on me for seeks help to release your pain. When that time, my though was a minor case (probably gastric). After this day you started unable consume food. No matter how tasty food I cook for you. You only show respond on your nose “interested to eat” but was not able to consume only keep on drinking water and bite your teeth with very very hard. 21th  Jan, as usual we still continue our weekly laser treatment on Barbara Shelter which is the last treatment you have. On the way back from Shelter I sent you to VET . Your weigh getting down from 36KG to 24.4Kg with doing ultrasound and figure out your kidney, liver was terribly damage destroy by tumor. Its hard time for me. I really really not wish to accept this news. Too bad, this is time for me to let you go as help to released your suffered & pain.

This Saturday evening I rejected all my appointment to accompany you, and gave you the last shower. My heart was extremely pain. Among this 4 years you with me, this is the most longer shower time both of us have. I told all the fact to you, played guitar to you. Although your are in suffering but you still show me your cute smiling face. During the night your appetite was great.able to consume half of the can foods(good boy!) I bring you to my room and slept beside me, whole night long you was stair on me, I knew you have tones of message want to say. Morning sunray is coming out. We have to move out from the bed room. You was sleep on my legs , and finished your last breakfast with chicken, pork and your favorite can foods. Bring you to the porch to have natural air and view.  Blackie approach to you to say good bye. After that we entered back to house for me to prepared to make you most handsome in the world’s Vet reached our house at 1pm, it’s so complicated feeling on me. I let you slept on my both legs and it’s time to say good Bye with you. 13:05pm  you go with peacefully in my embrace. Lynn is helped you sent to cremation at1530.

15hours after you leave.23 Jan, today I waked up at 4am. Unlock my cellphone, viewed your picture. But too bad I can’t feel and touch you anymore. Was seat on the place you use to lay on. Touched on your pillow to seek back the feeling of touching you. I am so worry with your current condition. Without my accompany, I am sure you are lonely and fearful.

0650am reached office car park. My memory was flash back the time you admitted Hospital in KL. pain was make you cried during the journey And every time I travel down from mainland to KL you was so ill and lonely, always hold my hand and bark to mean ask me don’t leave you alone.

1400pm view out from my office windows. The weather is going rain, I am worry not sure will you get cold or is any shed for you to stop by during rain.

1454- its Rain, perhaps you are in crying.  I am still have the sense of went back early from office to take care you at home.

Came back from Work. Your shadows popped out in my mind you were jumped on me , bite on your favorite red color ball asked to play.too bad, all this great day was not long. i am extremely down.
After you crossed rainbow bridge you will be fine and good with no pain and happy. But how true its, not one know.

I apologize to you for any mistake or failure I had make in past and feel grateful to have you such a Smart & lovely dogs accompany in my life. My Tears started fall from heart to eyes. Hope you are released and feel glade Murphy!